A woman decides to have a facelift for her 50th birthday.She spends $15,000 and feels pretty good about the results.
On her way home, she stops at a news stand to buy a newspaper.
Before leaving, she says to the clerk, 'I hope you don't mind myasking, but how old do you think I am?''About 32,' is the reply.
'Nope! I'm exactly 50,' the woman says happily.
A little while later she goes into McDonald's and asks the countergirl the very same question.
The girl replies, 'I'd guess about 29.'
The woman replies with a big smile, 'Nope, I'm 50.'
Now she's feeling really good about herself. She stops in a drug storeon her way down the street. She goes up to the counter to get somemints and asks the clerk this burning question.
The clerk responds, 'Oh, I'd say 30.'
Again she proudly responds, 'I'm 50, but thank you!'
While waiting for the bus to go home, she asks an old man waiting nextto her the same question.
He replies,'I'm 78 and my eyesight is going. Although, when I wasyoung, there was a sure-fire way to tell how old a woman was.
It sounds very forward, but it requires you to let me put my handsunder your bra. Then, and only then can I tell you EXACTLY how old youare.'
They wait in silence on the empty street until her curiosity gets thebest of her. She finally blurts out, 'What the hell, go ahead.'He slips both of his hands under her blouse and begins to feel around very slowly and carefully. He bounces and weighs each breast and hegently pinches each nipple. He pushes her breasts together and rubs them against each other.
After a couple of minutes of this, she says, 'Okay, okay...How old am I?'
He completes one last squeeze of her breasts, removes his hands, and says, 'Madam, you are 50.'
Stunned and amazed, the woman says, 'That was incredible, how could you tell?'
The old man says, 'Promise you won't get mad?'
'I promise I won't,' she says.
'I was behind you in McDonald's.'
Friday, September 19, 2008
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
'Never Ever Lie to a woman'
Howdy,folks...lovely story I just had to share. 'Never Ever Lie to a woman'
A man called home to his wife and said, 'Darling , I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up' 'Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. ' The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, 'Yes! Lots of salmons, some bluegills, and a few swordfishes. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?' You'll love the answer,folks......
The wife replied, 'I did, dear. They're in your fishing box! ...'
Never Ever Lie To A Woman...!!!
A man called home to his wife and said, 'Darling , I have been asked to go fishing up in Canada with my boss & several of his friends. We'll be gone for a week. This is a good opportunity for me to get that promotion I've been wanting, so could you please pack enough clothes for a week and set out my rod and fishing box, we're leaving from the office & I will swing by the house to pick my things up' 'Oh! Please pack my new blue silk pyjamas. ' The wife thinks this sounds a bit fishy but being the good wife she is, did exactly what her husband asked.
The following weekend he came home a little tired but otherwise looking good. The wife welcomed him home and asked if he caught many fish? He said, 'Yes! Lots of salmons, some bluegills, and a few swordfishes. But why didn't you pack my new blue silk pyjamas like I asked you to Do?' You'll love the answer,folks......
The wife replied, 'I did, dear. They're in your fishing box! ...'
Never Ever Lie To A Woman...!!!
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