Heart Attack Grill...

FW: Polite ..... Ultimate !!

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good manners asked her students the following question:

'Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?'

Michael said, 'Just a minute I have to go pee.'

The teacher responded by saying, 'That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?'

Sherman said, 'I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back.'
'That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?'
'I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to introduce you to after dinner.'

The teacher fainted !!!

The Harley-Davidson Facts

The inventor of the Harley-Davidson motorcycle, Arthur Davidson, died and went to heaven.

At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur. 'Since you've been such a good man and your motorcycles have changed the world, your reward is, you can hang out with anyone you want to in heaven.'

Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, ' I want to hang out with God.'

St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and introduced him to God.

God recognized Arthur and commented, ' O kay, so you were the one who invented the Harley-Davidson motorcycle? '
Arthur said, 'Yeah, that's me...'

God commented: 'Well, what's the big deal in inventing something that's pretty unstable, makes noise and pollution and can't run without a road?'

Arthur was a bit embarrassed, but finally spoke, 'Excuse me, but aren't you the inventor of woman?'



God said, 'Ah, yes.'

'Well,' said Arthur, 'professional to professional, you have some major design flaws in your invention!

1. There's too much inconsistency in the front-end suspension



2. It chatters constantly at high speeds

3. Most rear ends are too soft and wobble about too much




4. The intake is placed way too close to the exhaust

5. The maintenance costs are outrageous!!!!




'Hmmmmm, you may have some good points there,' replied God, 'hold on.'

God went to his Celestial supercomputer, typed in a few words and waited for the results.

The computer printed out a slip of paper and God read it.

'Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed,' God said to Arthur, 'but according to these numbers, more men are riding my invention than yours'.

Bailout Cartoons

WHAT GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST ?

WHAT GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST ?

The nun teaching Sunday school was speaking to her class one morning andshe asked the question, "When you die and go to heaven..... which part ofyour body goes first?


Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think its your hands."

"Why do you think its your hands, Suzy?" Suzy replied,
"Because when you pray, you hold your hands
together in front of you and God just takes your hands first."


"What a wonderful answer!" the nun said.
Little Johnny raised his hand and said, "Sister, I think its your legs". The nun looked at him with the strangest look on her face.
Now Little Johnnie, why would you think it would be your legs?
Little Johnny said,"Well I walked into mommy and daddy's bedroom the other night..
Mommy had her legs straight up in the air, and she was saying,
"OH GOD, I'M COMING!". If dad hadn't pinned her down, we'd have lost her!"

THE NUN FAINTED!

New Traffic Signal in Japan